#13 Shedding and other Middle-Aged Fun

Every time someone is standing near me, they begin picking curly hairs off of my back and shoulders; it’s become a national pastime. No matter how many times I use the lint roller before I leave the house, a new batch of newly fallen hairs have made their way onto my clothing by the time I reach any destination. I am certain that this sport cannot go on forever; eventually there will be more of the little guys on my clothing than on my scalp and I am certain to be completely bald. In the meantime, I have been reflecting on other new-found middle-aged activities that you might also enjoy.

In addition to the hairs that are rapidly vacating my head, I am also finding new ones on various places on my face and neck. The line from the Three Little Pigs comes to mind, “Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.” I have visions of being like the bearded lady in the circus sideshow, but being completely bald on top. Not to mention the awkward renegade eyebrow hair. My tweezers are suddenly being used as often as my toothbrush and toothpaste.

I have often joked that I am like an animated version of “What’s Wrong with this Picture?” There is always a button missing, a hem that’s coming out, or a sock that doesn’t match. Recently, though, I have added the dimension of the “What Belongs Where?” It’s a kind of matching game, trying to figure out which body part used to go in what part of my wardrobe. Things continue to shift on my body until I barely recognize it myself.  So…..are these SUPPOSED to be capri length? Or are they just long pants that are now too short? I’ve given up on those Spandex undergarments that simply seem to pull things together at one place and dump them out someplace else.

Seriously, what’s not to love about this wonderful time in life? So many choices! Do I get multi-focal lenses, or just keep a pair of reading glasses in every single room in the house? Should I buy a large-print Bible, or just use the version on my Smartphone and magnify each word as I read along? Do I continue to pretend like I don’t qualify for AARP, or just go ahead and apply so that I can get the discounts? So many important decisions.

Hopefully you, too, have learned to laugh at some of the things that aren’t turning out quite as you had imagined. The aging process isn’t always graceful, and we might as well face it head on and make the best of it. After all, if “fifty is the new thirty,” then we might as well make it a fabulous fifty by learning to have fun with it. Charlie Chaplin wisely said, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” Let’s not waste another second.