The Lighter Side of Dieting
(See what I did there?)
Twelve. The number of dieting programs that I have legitimately attempted to use to lose weight. As we began to empty the bookshelves last summer in preparation for new bedroom carpet, I actually had to stop and giggle as I realized that I had an entire shelf full of books dedicated to health, dieting and fitness. Among them were wildly popular programs such as Weight Watchers, the Scarsdale Diet and Eat to Live. There were also lesser known titles such as Weigh Down, First Place, and Body Clutter. There were books on how to eat a high protein diet, how to do a three-day cleanse, and even Fitness for Dummies. On that one bookshelf I had all of the tools that I could possibly need in order to get on the track to healthy eating and weight loss.
In spite of all of these wonderful tools, weight loss has always been my albatross. Pounds that melt away magically reappear, often bringing friends with them. Even adding a regular exercise program hasn’t been enough to eliminate those extra pounds permanently. I have to say though; attempting all of these programs and attending countless meetings hasn’t been without an upside. A humorous side.
There was the meeting that my friend Karen and I attended together many years ago. It was our first attempt at this particular program, and the meeting was held in a local church. We were seated in the back and began perusing the material as the meeting began. People were asked to share their successes and failures of the week as the leader attempted to encourage participants. One sweet lady raised her hand and said, “I was so proud of myself yesterday. There was a gingerbread cookie bouquet delivered to work, and all I ate was an arm and a leg.”
Somehow the humor of that statement escaped everyone else in the room. Everyone that is, except for Karen and me. An arm and a leg? We began to giggle quietly at the ironic statement. The more we tried not to laugh, the harder we laughed. Eventually tears were streaming down our faces and we excused ourselves to the restroom to regain our composure. As we came back into the meeting it was time for a brief break. The instructor actually came up to us and told us that if we couldn’t take the meeting more seriously we might want to rethink our decision to join. We proceeded to take our sense of humor across the street to Frisch’s to share a hot fudge cake.
Then there was the final meeting of our First Place weight loss program. During the last meeting of the three month program, names were read in order of total pounds lost in order to celebrate the successes. It quickly became apparent to me that I had come in last place. In First Place.
During one particular attempt at Weight Watchers they had revamped the program and my number of allowed points had been lowered. Each day was a struggle to stay within my point allotment without starving. One night I was particularly frustrated and headed upstairs. My husband asked why I was going to bed so early and I simply replied, “Because I am out of points!”
Please don’t panic and worry that I am not taking the matter of losing weight seriously. Obviously I am, or I wouldn’t continue to try to find that formula that actually works for me. Currently I’ve gone back to the “old fashioned” way of trying to lose weight; counting calories, exercise and tracking food. Of course weight loss is a serious issue.
But I have to admit, lightening up is definitely more fun when you….well…..lighten up.